My 17 year old daughter just took me to school. She is more than halfway done with her senior year of high school and I will wholeheartedly admit that I am feeling the pressure of making sure she launches well. What this LOOKS like is me having LOTS of conversations with her - sometimes invited - but most of the time - not.
God saw fit for me to have 4 children with defined sacrals. What this means in laymen's terms is that all 4 of my kids have an internal energizer battery that keeps them going, and going, and going. I do NOT have that battery - but I can absorb and amplify that energy temporarily - OR I can sit back and get curious about whether or not they are living and working in a healthy way and then have the wisdom in how to guide and direct them. I have two other functions that are not colored in and I experience their energy in this same way - ABSORBING and AMPLIFYING - guiding and directing. This process is DESIGNED to happen when I am INVITED to shine my very bright light into their shadows.
Because these are my children we are talking about I will admit that I get really ATTACHED to whether they are living, working, handling stress, and EMOTING in a healthy way. What happens in my body is I FEEL their stress, their energy, and their emotions: GOOD, BAD, OR UGLY. And I then forget all of the highest expressions of myself and kick into overdrive to "help" them when these awarenesses roll over me in waves. I am designed to be invited into these spaces since I carry a VERY bright light - and I have been ignoring this VERY IMPORTANT ASPECT of my design - and BLINDING my children with unsolicited advice. Enter Human Design School - today's lesson is being taught by the talented and gifted Berea Lynne Crescitelli - my very powerful and individual 4/6 Emotional Authority Generator and taught to me: a 1/4 Splenic Projector.
Berea is created to emote. This is a picture of her emotional intelligence center.
I am created to be really wise about the emotions of others. This is a picture of my emotional intelligence center.
What she shared with me today is that I have been rushing her emotional wave - "not holding space" (she even used my words to describe what I was doing) - smart girl. When I feel her sadness I go into overdrive to "fix". She explained that when I kick into high gear, pepper her with questions, and start sharing tools for her to choose gratitude, joy, etc. then I am not truly seeing her. I am not holding her as capable of doing her own work. Not giving her the space she needs to process her emotions. She also was able to articulate that she would be in a much healthier space to process her experiences and feelings with me when she has the TIME to do so (which is the wisdom I share with ALL of my emotional friends and family - picture face slap emoji here).
I have done a lot of this work with my husband who also has an emotional wave - this "work" looks like me untangling myself and allowing him to own his emotions, offering support, but not doing his work for him. I somehow skipped this process with my child - I mean my almost adult. So I stand here humbled and grateful that she has the language to ask for what she needs. That we have the tools to sit and ask questions. That we have had the time to go on this Human Design experiment together.
I am so thankful for these tools. I am thankful for these experiences. I am thankful for the process of learning lessons and for lessons learned. I sure hope that this serves and supports you in honoring your wisdom and that of your children - who were sent here to be our greatest teachers - they ARE capable of doing their own work. And so are we.
If you are curious about this kind of awareness please know I am here for you! Just head over here and see how I can support you. Human Design offers a VERY helpful lens for how we experience ourselves and others.
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